you know your a mini addict when
Turbo Mini Forums

1) You avoid taking too many mates to the pub as the extra weight slows the car down
2) You find yourself saying "It goes better with just me in it"
3) You are the only person on the garage forecourt holding the nozzle right out of the hole and peering in
4) You find it crazy that the sills rust despite all that oil
5) You rehearse your lines BEFORE the police pull you over. "Exhaust? Loud?"
6) You are an expert at identifying cars from just the headlamps and......
7) You keep saying "I think that is a Mini behind, it looks like a Mini - Oh! it's a Polo"
The rear side bins are used to hold oil cans and bottles of water
9) You plan which engine parts to take as spares on long trips
10) Your metric sockets are gleaming, the imperial ones are worn and broken
11) Your toolbox in the boot contains mainly spare rotor arms and large hammers
12) Your parking space on the drive has a piece of oily carpet lying on it
13) You have to wash the screen before you wipe or they jam
14) You pull over in dark country lanes and then disappoint your girlfriend/boyfriend by saying "Just going to alter the mixture a little bit"
15) You spend three hours a night reading e-mails on Minis and then take a "You know you have a Mini addiction when..." mail seriously and grade yourself
16) You don't buy anything that won't fit in your Mini
17) You leave the family behind, rather than getting a bigger car when going on holiday
18) Half your shirts feature logos from various Mini clubs and events
19) Every book in your personal library has illustrations on each page to accompany instructions
20) You can not only sit through the Italian Job video, but can turn the sound down and still understand each line of dialogue
21) You get used to the pain of whacking your head on the bonnet release/safety catch
22) You go shopping alone so you can put your stuff on the passenger seat
23) You wave and flash your lights at Minis coming the other way who wave and flash back, and your passenger asks "Do you know them?" and is surprised when you reply "never seen them before"
24) You analyse possible girlfriends on their ability to fit into your car and the amount of luggage they might conceivably wish to carry on holiday "One pair of knickers do you for a week darling?"
25) You live in fear of fat girls coming up and saying nice car and then asking you for a ride, because you know they will beat you to a pulp when you tell them they won't fit
26) You live in fear of a frost and you don't even own a garden
27) You can use fibreglass to repair the sills and the MOT man doesn't even mention it
28) You have to make room for your bed in the spare parts covering your house
29) You stop making room for your bed and sleep on some old Mini seats
30) People sniff the air and say "What's that you're wearing?" and you reply ""20W/50"
31) Your partner asks if they can have a non-Mini day as it's their birthday
32) You know all the local car breakers (and their dogs) by name
33) Work deadlines slip because you just have to reply to that mail about paint codes for a '63 Cooper
34) You have an oily phone and all the local Mini shops are programmed as Speed Dial numbers
35) When you jet-wash the car, people come and say "It won't grow, no matter how much you water it"
36) You can't park anywhere without some old duffer telling you that he had a Mini in the 60's
37) As soon as you enter the outside lane on the motorway, there's a stream of BMW 328i's tailgating you
38) Arriving at your intended destination you instantly jump out and check the colour of the tailpipe, and sigh with contented relief if it is dark/light grey
39) Driving at breakneck speed to achieve the land speed record all you fix your eyes on is the oil pressure gauge and not the road ahead
40) Your girlfriend/boyfriend begins to watch the oil pressure gauge as well!!
41) After a long day cleaning "your baby" you decide it's too clean to drive down the road
42) Or, if you do decide to drive it, you spend the whole time trying NOT to hit the brake pedal in case you get brake dust on the wheels
43) Valvoline 20W/50 becomes your fragrance of choice
44) Removing spark plugs with the engine running no longer holds any fear
45) Washing/polishing your car in the dark at 1.00 a.m. before a show seems normal
46) Watching a small glass window for pretty colours at night trying to get that elusive "perfect" mixture doesn't seem at all futile
47) When you constantly consult your other half as to your current diff choice and whether a 3.2 would be more suitable than a 3.44. Pleading ignorance they get so fed up they eventually pick a number
48) Conversations between you and your mates sound more like talking telephone numbers than real words
49 When parking, you just have to turn the wheels on slight lock to show off the A008's
50) Positioning of spark plug leads is an art form and should not be confused with being just functional
51) Polishing your exhaust tailpipe doesn't just involve the outside but the inside as well
52) You consider the heater unit useless but a nice ornament nonetheless
53) You realise the handbrake doesn't stop the car rolling away, but it can be useful for building upper body strength in traffic jams
54) You think a 1.3 is a big engine

www.m4minis.com

Fantastic! :)

Speedster turbo under construction

Thats excellent

Cheers, Stevo

sums us up quite nicely.

love that straight cut scream!!!
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/___|_____
_ (@)___(@)

most of them sound familiar!!!

““A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.”” - Jeremy Clarkson

55) when you change your name to john cooper

NO LONGER A <3 lover of BOLT-ON plastic <3 .... (and DOUBLE proud of it)

A family in the next caravan at the riveria run a few years back had a dog called Issi..Issigonis!

Oh dear!

56. There is a copy of "Tuning the A series engine" in your bog

57. Parts of your car/engine have infiltrated your house and are "Where they shouldn't be"

Namely a yoghurt pot full of valves on the dresser, a cylinder head on my bedroom table to name a few.

Edited by Hedgemonkey on 10th Jan, 2005.

Bugger off, I'm getting there.

56 & 57!! oh dear that is me!

i didnt know you were that old jon.