OT Best man speech
Turbo Mini Forums

Anyone ever done one?

Any gags/advice appreciated. Im shiteing myself

I seriously doubt it!

I did one last year, pm me your email addy and I'll send you a copy for idea's, I also have a book you can borrow if you like?

Get on google and search for best man speech tips too.

If something is worth doing, it's worth doing half of.

Theres loads of info ont www Paul, mate of mine has been writing his recently!

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My advice is to generally take the piss out of the groom but get the right thank you's in.

To put you at ease, remember that everyone will have had a drik or two (including you) and they're never a hard audience.

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"I´m not much of a spokesperson…
…cheers"

internationally known as "big" swede

Sounds about right to me Wil.

I got all the thank yous in first, praised the bride, groom, bridesmaids etc. Sweet sentiments etc (to get the aww's).

Then spent a few minutes minutes of light hearted piss taking out of the groom. (I used some props too, massive jeans as he used to be a fatso, bottle of red wine as he used to chug a full one in about 30seconds)

Then finished with the obligatory toast.

If something is worth doing, it's worth doing half of.

I will be watching this thread too, as I have one to do in 3 weeks.

my opening line was......."the last time I stood up with a piece of paper in my hand, I felt al lot more releived than I do now.."

it all depends on what the audeince are going to accept - I had no idea what the brides family was like so kept it clean but there was enough in there to humiliate the groom without the rest of the room getting the full story!

Mate of mine attended a wedding where the best man made blatantly crude "finger in ring" jokes. Supposedly it went down (no pun intended) unbelieveably badly.

My best man's "I'm a bit nervous but I prepared a couple of lines. Now I've snorted them I'm ready to do this speech" - went down really well actually!

"The bride has instructed me not to talk about ex-girlfriends, mindless drunkeness, drug taking, nudity or any combination of the above.
If you'd all like to charge your glasses..."

Metric is for people who can't do fractions.

I use a shoe box with all the props in it, namely a house brick.

You start by talking about how the groom had said on the stag doo, that he was not scared or frightened and was really looking forward to his new life with his wife to be, you also might suggest how you felt that you were not totaly sure he was.

You then talk about how long the groom was taking in the bathroom that morning, and once he finaly came out of the bathroom, you went in, and found 'this in the pan' while pulling the brick from the shoe box and waving it in full view for every one to see.

Some get it straight away, others takes a while, and it mostly goes right over the kids heads.

Elaborate a little, make a story of it.

Ive got to do one at the end of july. Ive got several ideas but havent started writing it yet.

Unfortunately I think im going to have to drop the paedophile joke, and the story about how his first bit of intimate female experience is now a lesbian.....

I have one to do to as it go's I have been looking all over the net last night.

I have started posting on Instagram also my name on there is turbomk1golf

Nothing is impossible it just costs more and takes longer.

Another good one is to make up some fake wedding cards, when I say fake, I mean cards that have not come from anyone, then insert some cash into them. Slip one or two of these fake cards into the selected pile of those that could not make it, thats the set up. Now when you start to read out the cards, open the fake one and let the money fall onto the table, exclaim ' Oh look at that' with an excited expression, immediately slip the money into your pocket, move directly onto the next card without reading the fake one.

Play on it a little, with maybe two fake cards like this, and perhaps talk about the generosity towards the best man from those that couldn't make it to the wedding.

It needs to be obvious, but subtle, and make sure that there is infact no real cards containing any money.


You could also add another fake card from Ma and Pa Farkin, and the whole Farkin family. Again its subtle, soem will get it and others might not.

Edited by Sprocket on 21st Jun, 2010.

I know somebody that said "I remember the first time that [the groom] met [the bride], he said to me "sniff my fingers"". Didn't go down as well as it did with the lads at work that he tested his speech on .