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robert

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back home in oxfordshoire.

hi all

well , after a bit of a frenzy (as usual) and hoicking a (as i was often reminded) 1902 tent out from under the bed , i was off to podland ...

left oxford at 8 ,got there at nine so not toooo bad , just getting a bit dusky though ,so in a hurry to find a place to erect .
got shoved in a plebness camping site ,so after calling simon up ...asked flourescent blokey , can i go round the back ! er , after a suggestion i didnt really enjoy , he said might be ok , so i said whats your name he saids howard ,so off i went ready to say to any objectors ,''howard said i could ''

so round the back i found the usual suspects all jollied up and imbibing ..backed my spud in and created my museum tentness .
all good ..chatting and stuff ensues ,and then rob decided it was haggis time ...

now at this point none of us had any idea of the dramatic repercussions of this act , it all seemed so innocent ,, at the time little did we know that one of us was going to suffer a fate far far worse than death .....

so off to the band , what a shower ,then chatting and more chatting and hilarity , the off to bed for everyone . for a nice quiet good nights sleep .......
ER ...NOOO!!!

so im lying there in my sleeping bag ,which appears to have been made on the how narrow can we really make a sleeping bag and still get someone in it sort of thing , trying to get compfy on an air bed that has become an air thin and crispy basically two sheets of plastic with a molecularly thin layer of air in it when ,all of a sudden , totally out of the blue ..

a strange whale like mating call echoes over the campsite ,went a bit like ..

ARPBUFFFPAAA ,,, sort of a cross between a breaching whale ,and a man who has got his knob cought in a zip ,mingled shock and horror ,with a bit of suprise and mechanical easophagus clearing ,all at the same time .....

this was a warning to all in smell shot .....

pretty soon ,andy and i where left in no doubt why JOHN had decided to make this attention getting symphony of intense distress ....

13.2 seconds later ,we found out what his stomach has just telegraphed to his brain >>>>>>>

as the tumultuous spattering of haggis, lager ,and stomach acid hurtled north at around the speed of sound , i think im probably correct in saying that the only thing touching the ground on johns body was the toxic jet that ricoched(sp) around the inside of his ,and yes poor poor andy's tent .
the sound of andy frantically dodging lumps swearing in a strange northern dialect , made it all almost worthwhile !!!

now im ashamed to admit ..at this point ,there are those amonst us ,predominantly myself and colin , for whom the milk of human kindness ran particularly dry ....as we both went into hysterical laughter ,,,, on and off for about 25 minutes , i think at one point even ANDY A JOINED IN .OH YES , very brave of him considering the fuselade of fragments peppering the lining of his tent ..

things then calmed down ..... for about 30 mins ..

then john decided on an encour!!!

oh yes ,there was more in the tank ...*surprised*

needless to say ,being a tm stalwart he had to introduce a slight variation in the perfomance ,,this involved decanting his sorry stomach OUTSIDE the tent bedroom , into the porch ...

about 3 nanometres away from my pavilion of calm ..

so here we have the human whale breaching again ..with colin, andy and i roaring our heads off in hysteria .. if fact , i suppose you could say all four of us where roaring our heads off ... only john created a new haggis lager hybrid lifeform though .

i was now curled up in a protective fetal position ,covering my nose due to the billious toxic vapours creeping into my tent and listening as john sent up a plaintive series of baby whale mother whale renderings ,,succsefully comunicating a siginifcant level of distress ...more laughing ensued .


we then all tried to get to sleep..

unfortunately ,at this point other orifices of johns body decided to make an appearance ,and he repetitively passed wind ,,,this ,,interesting.... sounded quite a lot like someone standing on a empty washing up liquid bottle ,with the cap only half on ,colin and i found this particularly rewarding ...more laughing ,and in fact i think i got an attack of industrial hysterics at this point .*happy*

so finally the human death duck dried up wimpering ,and we all went to sleep .

sunday popped round ,bright and sunny , we all ate something apart from john ,who was in a coma .

andy poisoned simon with a bacon sarny fried in the toxic haggis juice ..but that was ok .

at this pount john surfaced ,,,, a poor sad shadow of his energetic midnight self ,he looked very very empty ..funnily enough , a bit like a eaten haggis ! white, shaking, and in need of a post mortem ,was how he looked to me .

then it was time for racing , signed on and went out in simons car ,seemed ok and grippy and fast ,we thought the was a slipping clutch problem , but it only happened once and then was fine for the rest of the day .

i took simon out in my car ,did a 14.1 and 14.02 i think bit slow and a bit misfiring at the top .
so then a run on my own ,a 13.8 105 ,hmm ,definately a top end misfire ...bummer ,but also oh good pistons are ok after avon .

came back to see carl in tears poor dear , gave him a tissue and told him no no carl its not your head gasket , its just the blow valve has come off . he cheered up and little rosy cheeks gleaming ,ho popped his hose on and went out to play ,ah bless .

watched racing for a while , and chatted to paul ,john about the mig ,looking mighty fine ..good rate of progress i think .

poor andy and johns day got a little worse as thier thrusts lunched themselves ,,although i dont think john actually had lunch ...
then at the last minute i went for another run , tried it on 15 psi this time ,better lauch but still much less grip than avon ,and pulled fairly well to about the last 3rd ,then went a bit flat ,another 13.8s. hmmm.new plugs i think !

so packed up and off to the huge bloody slow row of cars trying to escape .
after about 10 hours we were free ,and simon and i shot of to get some fuel , me following since he had a sat nav .....
er ...no....
2 derelict stns later ,we are having a bloody good italian job fest through the little lanes and villages , blooody good fun .
we finally come out at northampton and find a stn .
of we go down the a43 to oxford , i branch off and home in 20m ,bit baked feeling but very pleased i went .

regards
robert.:)

Edited by robert on 14th Aug, 2011.

620 kg ,old falkens ,open diff.13.1s @109.1mph . (wheelspin from mid track)
88mph to 112mph in 4.39s.highest 1/4 terminal 112.1mph


the.eliminator

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Bedfordshire

Wow! Sounds like an eventful weekend!
Shame I missed It this year! Sounded like it was better than previous years..:(
Did you get any pics rob? :)

Austin Mini Designer Stage 1 N/A 1098

Future build- 1275 with Gen' ERA Turbo setup

On 31st Oct, 2007 DemonPixie said:
Well I think you're all a bunch of nutters....


matty

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Aylesbury

Sounds like it was a typical TM piss up then! lol

1/4mile in 13.2sec @ 111 terminal on 15psi



John

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Barnsley, South Flatcapshire

Oh robert your write up has literally made me cry with laughter!

If something is worth doing, it's worth doing half of.


fastcarl

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leeds/wakefield.

very well put ,and just about summs the weekend up,lol

WWW.FORCE-RACING.CO.UK PLEASE CLICK HERE


madmk1

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brookwood woking

Yes my sh1t Nav,I am too much of a tight ass to get it updated.

Nothing is impossible it just costs more and takes longer.

On 1st Nov, 2007 Ben H said:
There is no such thing as 'insignificant weight saving', it all adds up.


Sprocket

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Preston On The Brook

John, you might have been crying at the time, but you most certainly were not laughing, we were, Sorry *happy*

On 8th Dec, 2011 Ben H said:
I guess if I had to choose between Kylie and Holly I would probably toss for it.


madmk1

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Double hard bastard

brookwood woking

O yes, you need to get that vid up Robert.

Nothing is impossible it just costs more and takes longer.

On 1st Nov, 2007 Ben H said:
There is no such thing as 'insignificant weight saving', it all adds up.


Rob Gavin

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Glasgow

cracking write up robert. Keith and i are just reading it with another hour or so of driving left.certainly made us laugh!


Sprocket

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Preston On The Brook

Anyone else suffering sunburn?

On 8th Dec, 2011 Ben H said:
I guess if I had to choose between Kylie and Holly I would probably toss for it.


sturgeo

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Northants

Cracking write up Robert :)

On 14th Aug, 2011 Sprocket said:
Anyone else suffering sunburn?


I thought i had gotten away with it this year but i do seem to have a slightly red face


fastcarl

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Fastest A Series Mini in the World

leeds/wakefield.

Yes me


On 14th Aug, 2011 Sprocket said:
Anyone else suffering sunburn?

WWW.FORCE-RACING.CO.UK PLEASE CLICK HERE


tadge44

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Your writing talent deserves a larger audience Robert.


robert

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back home in oxfordshoire.

thanks for all the positive comments ,any body i make laugh makes it all worthwhile .

mr e ,yes i did get some pics i'll stick em up today .

simon ,those italian job vids came out terribly shakey , im not sure if watching them wont give us our own personal 'john ' moment ? (or ''doing a john'' ,as its now known. :( .)

colin ,YES i very definately feel like my skin has shrunk and taughtened,not very much like a tiger though .

john , it was appropriate that i return the favour ,since despite fearing being in the blast radius ,you did give a large percentage of the site a chance to cry with laughter too.

david , thank you!

Edited by robert on 15th Aug, 2011.

620 kg ,old falkens ,open diff.13.1s @109.1mph . (wheelspin from mid track)
88mph to 112mph in 4.39s.highest 1/4 terminal 112.1mph


theoneeyedlizard

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Great weekend guys! Shame about the mechanical and biological disasters, but great fun.

Ps Wintersurfer is 100% responsible for any sore heads or puking... Shots anyone??

In the 13's at last!.. Just


apbellamy

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Rotherham, South Yorkshire

*Rofl!*

In a few minutes I'll be getting my coat, shoes and jeans out of the washer. I'm hoping to find distinctly less sick on them. Thanks John!

WS. I'll get my revenge on you. I still had a head ache when I went to bed last night!

On 4th Apr, 2014 oli79 said:
I miss wr london *crying*

On 30th May, 2014 lee.pb said:
when pulling it in the garage.

On 11th Sep, 2014 Shauna said:
I don't really fancy blowing a hoe!


John

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Topping Geezer

Barnsley, South Flatcapshire

On 15th Aug, 2011 theoneeyedlizard said:
Ps Wintersurfer is 100% responsible for any sore heads or puking... Shots anyone??


And my wallet being empty! lol

If something is worth doing, it's worth doing half of.


MikeRace

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Force Racing ICT Dept Manager Miglia Turbo Am frum Yokshyer tha noes!

Great write up Rob! Yes luckily i was oblivious to the ensuing mess as i was fast on in the bang bus!

Great weekend and the TM spirit really came through!

1/4 Mile 14.3secs 96Mph Terminal 10psi of boost.



Fibreglass Parts? - http://www.tdkracing.co.uk/
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Paul S

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Podland

Hilarious Robert, much appreciated, fine finish to the weekend.... going to bed last night with a huge grin on my face for a change :)

Saul Bellow - "A great deal of intelligence can be invested in ignorance when the need for illusion is deep."
Stephen Hawking - "The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge."


Rob Gavin

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John's new aviator is quite appropriate!


John

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I've noticed. *wink*

If something is worth doing, it's worth doing half of.


wintersurferuk

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Haha *hehe!* photos comming soon!


oli79

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From Sheffield now live in York tha noz

Oh dear poor John-should have stuck to the stagg chilli!

On 18th Oct, 2013 apbellamy said:
I am feeling particularly BACish today.

On 5th Oct, 2014 Shauna said:
What that's crazy, you go commando hahaha! How heavy is your helmet *tongue*?

The Morris Ital assassin!


apbellamy

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King Gaycharger, butt plug dealer, Sheldon Cooper and a BAC but generally a niceish fella if you dont mind a northerner

Rotherham, South Yorkshire

Poor John? Poor tent...

Just of out to buy new trainers...

On 4th Apr, 2014 oli79 said:
I miss wr london *crying*

On 30th May, 2014 lee.pb said:
when pulling it in the garage.

On 11th Sep, 2014 Shauna said:
I don't really fancy blowing a hoe!


Sprocket

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Preston On The Brook




On 15th Aug, 2011 Rob Gavin said:
John's new aviator is quite appropriate!


what with the small pic, they look like a lovely bunch of coconuts, hairy ones at that.

On 8th Dec, 2011 Ben H said:
I guess if I had to choose between Kylie and Holly I would probably toss for it.

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